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MARRIAGE |
The
Groom's Procession
In Thailand, the pageantry
of a wedding focuses primarily on the groom, who makes his way to the
bride in a procession that is often accompanied by music. Friends and
relatives of the groom, bearing food and gifts such as silver, gold, jewelry
and cash, join in the procession. “The procession to the bride's house
is the most exciting part of the wedding,” Phyakul Quach observes. On
his way, the groom passes through the “silver gate” and the "gold
gate,” which consist of string or chains made of silver or gold that are
held at each end by young children. The groom pays a token fee — more
for the gold gate than the silver one — to the children, who then “open”
each gate so he can reach the bride. The
Ceremony
The Thai wedding ceremony
is held during the day at the bride's home and is generally fairly small,
attended only by family and close friends. It is usually followed by a
large evening reception at a hotel or party room, complete with food,
music and entertainment. At a Buddhist ceremony, monks are invited to
the wedding to chant prayers and are presented with alms and food by the
couple. The bride and groom kneel together, and a sacred thread is draped
from one head to the other, forming a circle and connecting the couple.
They each clasp their palms together in the traditional prayer-like gesture
called wai, and one by one the guests pour a conch shell full of
sacred water over the couple's hands while saying a blessing for good
luck. Guests then present their gifts to the newlyweds, either by placing
an envelope containing money into a nearby basket or giving a gift. The groom's family
is responsible for the bride's dowry, a sum that is often negotiated between
the two families. The dowry may be displayed, before the ceremony, as
a pile of cash to indicate that the groom is a good catch. After the ceremony,
the money is generally given to the new couple to help them start their
lives together.
Thai brides don't
have a standard wedding dress but tend to wear a traditional, close-fitting,
brightly colored Thai silk ensemble during the wedding ceremony. It is
often adorned with gold jewelry encrusted with semiprecious stones. White
is growing in popularity, and some brides opt for a Western-style wedding
gown at the evening reception. Black is never worn — and should not be
worn by guests — as it is considered to be bad luck and the color of mourning.
Thai women take their
husband's last name, but ethnic Chinese women do not, explains Phyakul
Quach. She notes that in Thailand, last names are unique to each family.
Her paternal grandfather and grandmother, for instance, created Phyakul
by taking sounds of their Indonesian and Chinese first names and creating
a Thai name that would be unique to their family. And while she has taken
her husband's last name — Quach — her children use the name Quach Phyakul
to reflect their Thai heritage.
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