Wedding Style :Kashmiri

Livun : On a suitable mahurat (auspicious time for beginning something) which may fall on different days for both the families, the cleaning of the respective houses takes place.

Food served and distributed : The bua or pof of the boy and that of the girl prepare var which has to be distributed to all the neighbours and relatives. They are given cash by the respective parents of the bride and the groom as a token of love. The traditional cook (waza) also arrives on the same day and constructs a mud-and-brick cooking stove called war. This stove is usually set up in the backyard of the house. The consumption of meat is traditionally forbidden in Kashmiri weddings.

Wanvun:  During every evening following livun, up to the marriage ceremony, a sangeet (music) session is held in both the bride's and the groom's houses where the participants include neighbours and relatives. The guests are served a salted pink tea (called noon or sheer chai) at the end of such singing sessions.

Maanziraat : The mahurat or saath for maanziraat is fixed within seven days of the lagan saath.

Ceremony : The pof of the boy and that of the girl have to decorate the door of the bride's and groom's houses. This ceremony is called krool khanun. In the evening the bride takes a bath which involves elaborate rituals and her maternal aunt (masi washes her feet. The bride's hands and feet are decorated with mehndi by her eldest pof. The pof then distributes the mehendi or maanz to all the neighbours and relatives present, who, in turn, give her money for her services. 

Entertaining guests: The ladies invited for the occasion indulge in wanvun (music session) throughout the night. In the more affluent families, traditional singing groups (called bachkots) are invited to entertain the guests. In the groups, the main dancer is called bacha and the musicians accompanying him comprise the sarangi player, the santoor player, the rabab player, the tumbaknari player, the harmonium player and the natoo player besides the lead singer.

Devgon : Devgon is a havan performed by both families in their respective homes, in which prayers are offered by both the bride and the groom to Shiv and Parvati. The devgon ceremony signifies the transition of both the bride and the groom from brahmacharya ashram to grihasta ashram. All close relatives of the bride and the groom observe a fast while participating in the havan rituals. The jewellery and utensils which are to be given to the bride are also placed near the sacred fire and duly worshipped.

Ceremony: The girl's devgon ceremony starts with the kanishran of the girl. In this ritual, a veil held by young girls is placed over the bride's head and a mixture of water, rice, milk and curd is showered along with flowers by the relatives present with a rendering of mantras by the purohit . The bride is then given a new set of clothes by her maternal uncle (mama) which includes a salwar (loose-fitting pyjama bottom), a full-sleeved shirt, a pheran with upturned sleeves, so that the inner white lining (narivar) is visible. This is bordered with a cotton strip and embroidered with a golden thread made of zarbaf cloth. This attire signifies that the girl has stepped into womanhood. The bride's headgear consists of a long cap called kalpush folded two to three times and lined with ruffles/silk/cotton from inside. The upper part of this cap is made of zarbaf cloth. A shawl is draped over the bride's head and is appropriately pinned below her chin. The bride's mama also presents her with a dejihoru, an almond-shaped gold ornament with two holes and hung from a red cotton thread knotted at the pierce in the middle of the ear lobe. All utensils which have been placed in front of the havan fire handed over to her, after the rituals are over.

The boy's devgon : The groom is also given a kanishran. His mama presents him with a new set of clothing which consists of the following:

1. A pheran with tight, long sleeves, having a triangular neckline called taninaal, the upper lapel of which is tied at the left shoulder with a piping called dov and ;

2. A waistband made of ruffle / pashmina with the ends embroidered with a golden thread and zarbaf called louing.

Duribat : On the same day, the maternal relatives of both the bride and the groom are invited for lunch at their respective houses. They are served first with milk, followed by kahwa. They are then served a traditional vegetarian lunch, consisting of dumaalo, nadrooyakhni, chock wangun, uyath chaman, nich chaman, nadroo hakh and mujchani.

Presents :Traditionally , the maternal relatives have to bring presents for the bride's or the groom's parents in case of duribat at the groom's residence. The presents include clothes for either the bride or the groom from their maternal grandparents. The immediate relatives like aunts of the bride or the groom, as the case may be, are presented with the traditional headgear, namely, the tarang.

Lagan :The lagan (the actual marriage) is fixed either during the daytime (dohlagan) or the nighttime (rotlagan). All invitees first assemble at the groom's residence.

The groom's clothes : The groom normally wears the pheran and his waistband (the louing). Other embellishments include a sword which is adjusted in his waistband and embroidered slip-on shoes or jootis (paazar) on his feet. Traditionally, the groom's eldest paternal uncle (chacha) has to tie his turban, called the gordastar with a golden thread called dov. A plate of rice containing some money is touched to the left shoulder of the groom as a shagun (a good omen), while the turban is being tied.

Ceremony at the groom's house : While leaving for the bride's house, the the groom is made to stand on a rangoli, i.e., a decorative pattern made of rice flour and different colours, also called vyog. The eldest lady of the family has to make the groom eat sugar pieces (nabad) three times. Before he leaves for the bride's house, the conch-shell (shankh) is sounded. Two rice pots containing some money, which have been kept in front of the vyog are given to the poor. The groom rides a horse to the bride's house, while the rest of the marriage procession follows either on foot or, if the distance is large, in horse carriages, or cars, in keeping with the times.

The bride's clothes : Over the kalpush, a long piece of starched and ironed snow-white cloth, about three centimeters in width and two to two-and-a-half metres long, is wrapped at the level of the forehead in three to four layers. A white scarf (called zoojh) is wrapped over the kalpush and it covers 50 per cent of the head from behind. This scarf is left hanging on the back of the head over the braid till it reaches just below the shoulders. It is made of fine cotton or silk on two sides and consists of a silk or cotton net in the middle. The edges are elegantly embroidered with golden and silk threads. A snow-white glazed paper is wrapped over this headgear and stitched from behind. Over the glazed paper, a white tranparent sheet of slolite paper, of the same width as that of the inner glazed layer, is placed and stitched on the sides near the back towards the braids. Over this slolite paper is placed another piece of starched muslin cloth (called pooch) which covers 60 per cent of the headgear from behind leaving 40 per cent of the front exposed. This cloth is left loose from behind reaching up to the knee joint or even lower, where the free end is appropriately bifurcated and curled separately. Two all-pins with black and golden heads are fitted into the headgear. (The entire head attire is called tarang.) A belt about two metres along and one-and-a-half metres wide (called haligandun), with its loose ends embroidered, is tied to the waist of the bride.

Reception ceremony : The arrival of the marriage procession is announced by blowing of the conch-shell. The marriage procession is welcomed by all he relatives and friends of the bride's family. The bride's maternal uncle has to carry her out to the place where vyog has been prepared and where the groom is made to stand. The eldest lady from the bride's family has to offer nabad to both the bride and the groom three times and kiss their foreheads. Two rice pots with some money, kept in front of the vyog, are given to the poor. The family purohit leads the couple to the door of the house where he offers prayers called dwar pooza before leading them to the lagan mandap.

Food served: The relatives and friends of the groom are served kahwa followed by a vegetarian meal served in earthen kiln-baked pots (called tabhe) As many as 21-25 dishes are prepared for the guests. These dishes include, in addition to the seven basic vegetarian preparations mentioned earlier, delicacies like kangach, which is a rare and expensive dish; marchwangan pokore; madur pulao (a sweet rice prepared on special occasions); and shufta, which is made from paneer, fried with nuts and sweetened with sugar.

The wedding ceremony: This ceremony customarily starts with rendering of the shlokas (by the purohit) in front of the holy fire. The bride and the groom are told about their duties towards one another and towards heir close relatives. The bride and the groom then have to cross their arms one over the other and hold hands. Their hands are then covered with a cloth. This ritual is called athwas. Kashmiri folklore holds that the first one who manages to pull out the other's engagement ring plays a dominating role in the married life of the couple. A golden thread called mananmal is then tied to the foreheads of both the bride and the groom. After this, the left feet of the bride and the groom, kept one upon the other, are placed on a kajwat (a grinding stone used in Kashmiri kitchens). The first round (phera) around the sacred fire is made by stepping on seven one-rupee coins of silver (placed in a circle), while the other six rounds are done to the chant of mantras. The bride and the groom finally feed each other some food (essentially rice) signifying the end of the ceremony. They are considered man and wife now. Traditionally , the bride has to be given the following as part of her dowry:

Utensils: A minimum of two big bronze thalis (plates); one bronze khasoo (around cup balanced on a thicker round bronze platform of a smaller diameter); one brass tumbler; one jug; one gadwa (a round jug); and a basin (for washing).

Clothing : There to five pherans with a tarang; a tarang for the mother-in-law; one for the sister-in-law (if married); one for the grandmother of the groom; and for the groom's aunts.

Vidai (or Bidaai) : The newly weds are made to stand on the vyog again, as part of the seeing off  or vidai ceremony. The eldest lady of the bride's family (her maika or malyun now) offers them misri (nabad) three times and kisses their foreheads. Two rice pots with money, kept in front of tthe vyog, are given to the poor. The bride leaves for the groom's house. Before entering the groom's house, the bride and the groom are taken to a temple where prayers are offered to the gods. The groom's house now becomes the bride's sasural or variv.

Reception at the groom's house:The groom's pof usually does not let either the marriage procession or the newlyweds enter the groom's house before the groom promises her cash, a shagun or jewellery made of gold. The newlyweds are made to stand on the vyog again, where they are offered nabad by the eldest lady of the groom's house three times and after their foreheads have been kissed, a pair of pigeons are set free to celebrate the arrival of the bride. The mananmals tied on the foreheads of the couple are also exchanged. Two rice pots with some money, kept in front of the vyog, are distributed amongst the poor. The groom's pof then leads the couple to the kitchen where they are made to sit on the mud stoves as the traditional cook (the waza) serves them food(sweet rice or vegetable and curds) which is fed by the pof to both of them. The waza is given some money for the services rendered by him. This ceremony is called dan zang. The pof is given some cash and ornaments as a token of love from the groom's parents. The bride then changes into those clothes (except for the tarang) given to her by her parents-in-law. She is also given gold ornaments by her in-law. The mother-in-law then endows her with a gold aath and aathhoru (the former is a gold chain in the pierce of the middle ear with gold foil hanging from an almond-shaped gold ornament below the shoulder, called the aathhoru) and the tali raz which is a broad chain with eight to 20 beads and its ends looped into the aathhoru, and worn over the head.

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