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MARRIAGE |
Careful consideration of the Qur'anic injunctions and the traditions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) clearly show that marriage is compulsory (wajib) for a man who has the means to easily pay the mahr (dowry) and to support a wife and children, and is healthy, and fears that if does not marry, he may be tempted to commit fornication (zina). It is also compulsory for a woman who has no other means of maintaining herself and who fears that her sexual urge may push her into fornication. But even for a person who has a strong will to control his sexual desire, who has no wish to have children, and who feels that marriage will keep him away from his devotion to Allah, it is commendable (mandub). However, according to the Maliki school,
under certain conditions it is obligatory (fard) for a Muslim to marry
even if he is not in a position to earn his living:
However some jurists suggest that if a man cannot procure a lawful livelihood, he must not marry because if he marries without any hope of getting lawful bread, he may commit theft, and in order to avoid one evil (his passions) he may become the victim of another (theft). The Hanafi school considers marriage as
obligatory (fard) for a man:
Marriage is forbidden (haram) to a man, according to the Hanafi school, if he does not possess the means to maintain his wife and children or if he suffers from an illness, serious enough to affect his wife and progeny. It is not desirable (makruh) for a man
who possesses no sexual desire at all or who has no love for children
or who is sure to be slackened in his religious obligations as a result
of marriage. In a beautiful tradition the Prophet (peace
be upon him) has given the most important point that should weigh with
every Muslim in selecting his bride: "Whoever marries a woman solely for her power and position, Allah will only increase him in humiliation. Whoever marries a woman solely for her wealth, Allah will only increase him in poverty. Whoever marries a woman because of her beauty, Allah will only increase him in ugliness. But whoever marries a woman in order that he may restrain his eyes, observe cautiousness, and treat his relations kindly, Allah puts a blessing in her for him and in him for her." In order that problems should not arise after marriage the Prophet (peace be upon him) recommended that, in the selection of his bride, a man should see her before betrothal lest blindness of choice or an error of judgment should defeat the very purpose of marriage. But this "seeing" is not to be taken as a substitute for the "courtship" of the West. The man should not gaze passionately at his bride-to-be, but only have a critical look at her face and hands to acquaint himself with her personality and beauty. However, if a man so desires, he may appoint a woman to go and interview the proposed bride, so that she may fully describe the type of girl she is. Since believing men and women are referred
to in the Qur'an, a woman also has the right to look at her potential
husband. The special permission for men and women
to see each other with a view to matrimony does not contravene the code
of conduct for believing men and women to lower their gaze and be modest
which is laid down in the Holy Qur'an. |